Whose Job Is It Anyway?
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Every Thursday, I share one action, habit, or project you may want to undertake in order to improve your health, happiness, and sense of well-being.
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PROJECT OF THE WEEK
Whose Job is It Anyway?
Last week we discussed how Weekly Family Meetings are a tool to reduce overwhelm and support stronger family communication.
This week we are going to discuss how formalizing everyone's Family Responsibilities can also make a big difference.
Before we get started, I want to take a moment to recognize how it's human nature to overestimate our responsibilities, while underestimating the amount of time and energy other's are spending on their responsibilities.
Getting Started
What does formalizing Family Responsibilities look like?
The first step is for all adults and teens to start making a list of all their responsibilities, big and small.
Over the next week, continue to add to the list, as new responsibilities come up.
This isn't a one-and-done exercise, so don't worry if you miss something. However, the more thorough the list, the more supported you will feel from the start.
Schedule a time to meet at the end of the week. This meeting can be added on, before or after, the weekly Family Meeting, but should not be discussed at the same time. Have everyone bring their list of responsibilities to the meeting.
I would recommend one person volunteering to be the "secretary" and for them to bring their laptop to the meeting. Feel free to add this responsibility to your list!
During the meeting, the "secretary' should type up each responsibility and list, next to it, who is responsible. You can do this in any format you like, but using Excel might be helpful.
There is no right or wrong way to organize the list. As a family you should decide what makes the most sense to you.
it might be helpful to have everything listed out by person.
Or it might be easier to have responsibilities listed out by day of the week, weekly, monthly, and as needed.
If you use Excel, you could easily sort it both ways.
How to make the most of formalizing your Family Responsibilities!
Make sure you are listing out all the tiny tasks that you undertake to make your family life run smoothly.
This is often where one partner can feel overwhelmed, while the other partner has no idea why.
When your daughter is invited to a birthday party, who is in charge of checking the family calendar, adding it to the family calendar, RSVPing and buying the birthday present? It's not just taking your daughter to the party.
Who is in charge of checking your 9-year old son's planner and homework folder each night and taking any required actions?
Who is in charge of washing your daughter's water bottle and emptying her lunch box when she gets home from school, so that it's ready to re-pack for the following day?
Who is responsible for driving the kids to activities and taking them to the playground after school?
Decide how to split the responsibilities in a way that works for everyone!
When working with families, it's common that issues can be simply eliminated by changing how certain responsibilities are split up.
It's common that one partner will cook and the other partner will clean. This can lead to disagreements over how messy one partner is when cooking and how that effects the partner cleaning up.
A simple solution is for one partner to be in charge of cooking, setting the table, and cleaning up each night. While you can rotate who is responsible, no one needs to worry about how they are meeting their responsibility.
Whoever is in charge of the kids in the morning should be responsible for cleaning up whatever breakfast they cook and getting the kids out the door. This eliminates one person slacking off, knowing their partner will pick up behind them.
Be smart about when certain responsibilities are assigned. Someone should be responsible for unloading the dishwasher before breakfast. This way, there is no excuse for letting dishes pile up and leaving them for one person at the end of the day.
Also, think about what you can do at the end of the day or beginning of the next to make your life easier. Does running the dishwasher every night, even if its not completely full, set you up for success the next morning? Then do it. Same is true about packing lunch the night before or laying clothes out in the morning before jumping in the shower.
If you are a single parent, this exercise will still be helpful. You can use this list to see where you may be able to get support. Remember, kids can help with a lot!
Be sure to review your list of Family Responsibilities at your Weekly Family Meetings.
I also recommend listing our your kids’ names next to responsibilities that are age appropriate. This is a great printable to help determine what chores make the most sense by age.
It is also a great practice to rotate responsibilities. This helps with everyone’s understating of how much effort each task requires.
Happy Planning!
Ready to Get Started?
If you feel excited about implementing this strategy and want some additional accountability and support to get started, the It’s All in the Planning Starter Pak was designed for you!
A Note from Happy Spaces
The goal is to add value to your life. If you think this project will add value:
Estimate how long you think it will take. I would recommend doubling the time you estimate.
Look at your calendar over the next week and pick a date and time to get started.
Make an appointment on your calendar for the estimated time.
If you estimate that completing this project will take longer than one hour, I recommend doing it over multiple days. This will support you in getting started!
Prior to starting this project, take a few minutes to make a step-by-step list of EVERY action you need to take to complete this project.
It's not all or nothing. You can choose to implement only the parts of this project that add value to your life.
An Accountability Partner can be a great support in following through on your goals and commitments.
We understand how challenging it can be to implement new habits and systems. For additional support please go to HappySpacesBySarah.com.
Creating a life you don't need a vacation from! ®
Sincerely,
Sarah Weingarten
Meet Sarah
Growing up as the oldest of nine siblings in Upstate New York, I learned to use organization to create sanity among the chaos. Today, I work together with individuals, families, and small businesses to create habits, systems, and spaces that support their needs, goals, and dreams. Clients often refer to our work together as "life-changing" and "better than decades of therapy". What I love most about my work is the lasting impact it has on real people's lives. Nothing makes me happier than hearing the many success stories of clients I have worked with.