If You're Not in the Arena... I'm Not Listening
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PROJECT OF THE WEEK
When to Listen to Feedback
(And when to kindly say “Thanks, but no thanks”)
There’s a quote from Brené Brown that’s stuck with me ever since I first heard it:
“If you're not in the arena getting your ass kicked, I'm not interested in your feedback.”
Now, let’s be clear, Brené’s not saying feedback doesn’t matter. It absolutely does.
Feedback can help us grow. It can offer us insight, perspective, a new way to think about an old challenge. Sometimes it even opens the door to real, lasting change.
But… not all feedback is created equal.
And if you’ve ever put yourself out there, started a business, launched a program, led a team, become a parent, spoken up in a meeting, you know what I’m talking about. There’s always someone with a lot to say.
The Trouble with Feedback
Here’s the tricky part: Feedback often comes from people who aren’t in it with you.
They haven’t taken the risk. They don’t know the details. They’re not juggling all the same factors and feelings you are.
Maybe they mean well. Maybe they don’t.
But either way, if they’re not in the ring with you, if they don’t understand the pressure, the stakes, or the energy it takes to show up, it might not be the feedback you need to hear.
My Personal Filter
Here’s something I ask myself when someone offers advice or criticism:
Would they take their own feedback? Do they understand what it would actually take to do what they’re suggesting? Are they offering this from a place of care… or control?
If the answer is no, I’ve learned to take a breath, say thank you (or not), and move along.
Because honestly? The best feedback comes from people who get it. People who’ve wrestled with hard choices. People who’ve taken risks of their own. People who know what being in the arena feels like.
That kind of feedback, well, I’ll take it every time.
Getting Started
A Few Questions to Keep in Your Back Pocket
The next time someone offers you advice (especially if it stings), try asking:
Does this person understand what I’m trying to do?
Are they invested in my growth, or just offering a hot take?
Would I go to them for guidance if I was struggling?
If not, it’s okay to let it go.
You don’t have to carry every opinion. You don’t have to internalize every comment. And you don’t owe everyone an explanation.
Feedback That Does Matter
On the flip side, don’t forget: the right feedback can be magic.
It can stretch you. Encourage you. Help you move forward.
So seek out the people you trust, the ones who’ve shown they’re in the ring with you. Who understand your values and your goals. Who care more about your growth than being right.
And when they speak? Listen closely.
Because that’s the kind of feedback that makes you better.
Ready to Get Started?
If you're feeling excited about putting this strategy into action and could use a little extra accountability and support, the It’s All in the Planning Starter Pak is here to help! Designed to set you up for success, it’s the perfect tool to keep you on track and moving forward.
Let’s make progress together—because great results start with great planning!
A Note from Happy Spaces
Our goal is simple: to add value to your life. If you think this project will be helpful, here are some steps to set yourself up for success:
Estimate how long it will take—then double it. Giving yourself extra time helps reduce stress.
Schedule it on your calendar for the week ahead. Setting a specific date increases follow-through.
Break it up if it will take more than an hour. Tackling it in smaller steps makes it more manageable.
Make a list of every action needed before you start. A clear plan helps keep you on track.
Do what works for you—you don’t have to complete every part, just what adds value to your life.
Find an Accountability Partner—having support makes it easier to stay committed.
We understand that building new habits and systems can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. For additional support, visit HappySpacesBySarah.com and let’s make organizing and planning easier together.
Creating a life you don't need a vacation from! ®
Sincerely,
Sarah Weingarten
Meet Sarah
As the oldest of nine kids with two working parents, I grew up juggling many responsibilities at home. Organization and time management became my lifeline amidst the chaos.
I attended the Cornell Hotel School and pursued my childhood dream of working in the hospitality industry. In 2016, I launched Happy Spaces, combining my passion for structure and efficiency with helping others.
I love working with students to develop essential organizational, time management, and study skills. These skills empower them to reach their full potential, build confidence, and create a future they feel good about.