Try Choosing an Identity, as Opposed to Setting a Goal.
Every Thursday, I share one action, habit or project you may want to undertake in order to improve your health, happiness and sense of well being.
PROJECT OF THE WEEK
Try Choosing an Identity, as Opposed to Setting a Goal.
This is one of the most powerful thoughts I have come across when researching habit change.
"To change your behavior for good, you need to start believing new things about yourself." –James Clear
What is the difference between choosing an identity and setting a goal?
Example 1: You want to wake up earlier
Goal - I want to wake up on weekdays at 5:45AM.
Identity - I want to become a mom who values quality time with my kids. In order to do this, I need to be ready for work before I wake them at 6:30AM.
Example 2: You want to wake up earlier
Goal - I want to wake up on weekdays at 5:45AM.
Identity - I want to become a writer. In order to do this, I need to write for at least one hour every weekday. The most consistent time I can choose to do this is before work.
Activity Time! Grab a pen and paper and let's take 12 minutes to brainstorm.
Below are a few questions to guide you:
Make a list of all the goals and intentions you have set for yourself. There is nothing too big or too small. We want to get it all out of our heads and on paper.
Circle the 5 goals that mean the most to you right now.
For the 5 goals you circled, write out why each one is important to you.
Take a moment to think about if there is a theme. These 5 goals may be completely separate or they may be connected.
Keeping in mind why each one of these goals is important to you, re-write each goal as an identity.
Below are a few examples of identities that clients have implemented.
I want to become the type of person who responds to all texts and emails within one business day.
I want to become the type of person who sets aside time to plan every week.
I want to become the type of person who studies every day.
I want to become the type of person who moves every day.
I want to become the type of person who sends handwritten notes.
Take a minute to choose which of the 5 identities means the most to you right now.
Make that identity a part of your daily life.
Write it on an index card and leave it on your pillow.
Write it on a sticky note and put it on the bathroom mirror.
Set an alarm on your phone that will go off a few times a day, to a song you love, and label the alarm with your new identity.
While I do believe that choosing an identity is key to lasting habit change, there is still a lot of hard work that is needed in order to make your new identity a part of your daily routine.
Choose your hard!
Below are some tips to support you in implementing identity-based habits.
Start small, real small.
Link your new habit to something you are already doing.
Habits form based on how often you perform the new habit, not how long you have been performing the new habit.
A habit is only a habit as long as you keep doing it. Don't underestimate the impact a schedule change can have on undoing a habit. Common examples of schedule changes are vacations, travel, moving, new jobs, new partners, and new babies.
Seek outside accountability
Additional Resource
I highly recommend the book, "Atomic Habits" by James Clear
A Note from Happy Spaces
The goal is to add value to your life. If you think this project will add value:
Estimate how long you think it will take. I would recommend doubling the time you estimate.
Look at your calendar over the next week and pick a date and time to get started.
Make an appointment on your calendar for the estimated time.
If you estimate that completing this project will take longer than one hour, I recommend doing it over multiple days. This will support you in getting started!
Prior to starting this project, take a few minutes to make a step-by-step list of EVERY action you need to take to complete this project.
It's not all or nothing. You can choose to implement only the parts of this project that add value to your life.
An Accountability Partner can be a great support in following through on your goals and commitments.
We understand how challenging it can be to implement new habits and systems. For additional support please go to HappySpacesBySarah.com.
Creating a life you don't need a vacation from! ®
Sincerely,
Sarah Weingarten
Meet Sarah
Growing up as the oldest of nine siblings in Upstate New York, I learned to use organization to create sanity among the chaos. Today, I work together with individuals, families, and small businesses to create habits, systems, and spaces that support their needs, goals, and dreams. Clients often refer to our work together as "life-changing" and "better than decades of therapy". What I love most about my work is the lasting impact it has on real people's lives. Nothing makes me happier than hearing the many success stories of clients I have worked with.