The Best Trait You Can Build
Photo by Brad Switzer on Unsplash.
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PROJECT OF THE WEEK
People often ask me: If you could pick just one trait that leads to success, what would it be?
My answer is always the same, and it’s not even close.
High frustration tolerance.
If you have it, you’ll keep going. If you don’t, you’ll likely give up.
I see it everywhere: What determines a student’s grades? Frustration tolerance. What predicts who will thrive in a big new role? Frustration tolerance. What fuels the ability to stick with learning a new skill, even when it’s hard? You guessed it—-frustration tolerance.
Because most skills can be learned. The real question is: how long are you willing to sit in the discomfort of not getting it yet?
You might wonder, Is there a downside to high frustration tolerance? Yes, and it’s a big one.
Sometimes, the very thing that keeps us pushing through also makes it hard to walk away. Just because you can figure something out doesn’t mean it’s worth the time, energy, or cost to your well-being. Wisdom is knowing the difference.
So where does frustration tolerance come from? Are you born with it, or can it be built?
I believe it’s both.
Some kids come into the world with a natural stubborn streak. The ones who insist, “I’ll do it myself!” even if it takes ten times longer. Those kids often grow into adults with high frustration tolerance. That fierce independence, while maddening for parents at times, can become a real superpower later in life.
But even if you weren’t born with it, you can build it.
Getting Started
It starts with small moments: Pushing just slightly past your comfort zone. Watching yourself struggle, and figure it out. Crossing finish lines you didn’t think you could reach.
Frustration tolerance grows from doing hard things, especially the ones you couldn’t do without support.
The more comfortable you get with not yet knowing, the more trust you build in your ability to learn, adapt, and persevere.
As Dr. Becky calls it, support your kids in “The Learning Space”. That stretch between not knowing and mastery. That’s where growth happens.
And support yourself there, too.
Choose the hard things you believe you can do, even if they make you uncomfortable. Stay with the struggle long enough to see your own capability unfold. That’s how you build not just success, but self-trust.
Ready to Get Started?
If you're feeling excited about putting this strategy into action and could use a little extra accountability and support, the It’s All in the Planning Starter Pak is here to help! Designed to set you up for success, it’s the perfect tool to keep you on track and moving forward.
Let’s make progress together—because great results start with great planning!
A Note from Happy Spaces
Our goal is simple: to add value to your life. If you think this project will be helpful, here are some steps to set yourself up for success:
Estimate how long it will take—then double it. Giving yourself extra time helps reduce stress.
Schedule it on your calendar for the week ahead. Setting a specific date increases follow-through.
Break it up if it will take more than an hour. Tackling it in smaller steps makes it more manageable.
Make a list of every action needed before you start. A clear plan helps keep you on track.
Do what works for you—you don’t have to complete every part, just what adds value to your life.
Find an Accountability Partner—having support makes it easier to stay committed.
We understand that building new habits and systems can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. For additional support, visit HappySpacesBySarah.com and let’s make organizing and planning easier together.
Creating a life you don't need a vacation from! ®
Sincerely,
Sarah Weingarten
Meet Sarah
As the oldest of nine kids with two working parents, I grew up juggling many responsibilities at home. Organization and time management became my lifeline amidst the chaos.
I attended the Cornell Hotel School and pursued my childhood dream of working in the hospitality industry. In 2016, I launched Happy Spaces, combining my passion for structure and efficiency with helping others.
I love working with students to develop essential organizational, time management, and study skills. These skills empower them to reach their full potential, build confidence, and create a future they feel good about.