Is Perfectionism Holding You Back?
Do you ever feel like it’s all too much? Every Thursday, I share one action, habit, or project you may want to undertake in order to improve your health, happiness, and sense of well-being.
PROJECT OF THE WEEK
Is Perfectionism Holding You Back?
High achievers benefit from taking pride in their accomplishments and often choose to surround themselves with other high achievers.
There are many benefits to being a high achiever, including:
Always giving 100%
Being highly motivated
Being passionate about your responsibilities
Thriving on healthy competition
However, there is a thin line between being a high achiever and being a perfectionist. Many of us shift between these mental frameworks, depending on what we are working on, how experienced we feel about our work, and how important the project is to us.
As with everything, there is a downside to perfectionism.
Self-worth becomes dependent on achievements
Fear of failure
Unrealistic expectations
Anxiety and depression
Obsessive thoughts
Leads to procrastination
Difficulty sleeping
It is important to note that you do NOT need to be a perfectionist in order to be a high achiever. Not only is it possible to let go of your perfectionism, while continuing to be a high achiever, but by moving away from perfectionism, you will likely increase your success.
Getting Started
Please note: depending on how engrained your thought processes are around perfectionism, this may be an area where you would benefit from outside support, such as speaking to a therapist or a life coach.
Where should you start? How’s this, just start.
Develop a motto that speaks to you. I like two mottos in particular: "Good enough is good enough" and "Don't let perfect be the enemy of good".
When you are feeling stuck, having trouble getting started, or finishing up, say your chosen motto out loud.
While there are some projects that need to be great, there are many projects that we undertake where done is far better than perfect. Take a moment before starting a project to picture what done looks like and do a brief cost-benefit analysis between time spent on the project and the importance of making every little thing perfect.
You may want to make a list of projects that you have started, but not finished. Then, make a list of projects that you have not started because you feel like you don't have all the details figured out yet.
Next to each project, write down what is the nightmare scenario if the project is not completed perfectly. Then write down what is the nightmare scenario if the project is not started - or completed! - at all. Which scenario do you want to avoid more?
I will use this blog as an example. My worst fear revolves around hitting send on a blog with a glaring spelling or grammar error and everyone thinking that I am an idiot. Guess what? There have been grammar errors, I have received feedback regarding those errors, and I am still here to write about it. (Special shoutout to Grammarly for helping to lessen my fears!)
Now, what if I allowed my perfectionism to prevent this blog from ever existing? I have a love of learning and developing new systems, strategies, and ideas that I know others can benefit from. By not sharing that information, others, like you, won’t have the same opportunity to grow and improve.
It was clear to me, that the downside to not writing and sharing this blog was far worse than the downside of sending out a blog entry with an error.
After writing down your worst care scenarios, take a few moments to write down how you would fix them. The good news is most mistakes are fixable - and frankly don’t matter in the long run.
Taking the time to write down your fears, and how you would respond if they happened, may actually be what your brain needs to stop procrastinating and get started.
We also need to recognize that we can really only implement one new project at a time. So pick which project on the list is your highest priority and start there.
Additional Resources
I highly recommend the book, "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brene Brown.
Brene also recorded a talk, which is available on Audible, called "The Power of Vulnerability", which I found moving, motivating, and empowering. The book and the talk on Audible are very similar, so you may not find it a valuable use of your time to read/listen to both. If you have Audible, I would start with "The Power of Vulnerability".
Feeling Overwhelmed?
We understand how challenging and scary it can be to start something new. If you feel excited about implementing this strategy, but worry that it’s just too much to start on your own, the It’s All in the Planning Started Pak was designed for you!
A Note from Happy Spaces
The goal is to add value to your life. If you think this project will add value:
Estimate how long you think it will take. I would recommend doubling the time you estimate.
Look at your calendar over the next week and pick a date and time to get started.
Make an appointment on your calendar for the estimated time.
If you estimate that completing this project will take longer than one hour, I recommend doing it over multiple days. This will support you in getting started!
Prior to starting this project, take a few minutes to make a step-by-step list of EVERY action you need to take to complete this project.
It's not all or nothing. You can choose to implement only the parts of this project that add value to your life.
An Accountability Partner can be a great support in following through on your goals and commitments.
We understand how challenging it can be to implement new habits and systems. For additional support please go to HappySpacesBySarah.com.
Creating a life you don't need a vacation from! ®
Sincerely,
Sarah Weingarten
Meet Sarah
Growing up as the oldest of nine siblings in Upstate New York, I learned to use organization to create sanity among the chaos. Today, I work together with individuals, families, and small businesses to create habits, systems, and spaces that support their needs, goals, and dreams. Clients often refer to our work together as "life-changing" and "better than decades of therapy". What I love most about my work is the lasting impact it has on real people's lives. Nothing makes me happier than hearing the many success stories of clients I have worked with.